Monday, April 12, 2010
Bad Weekend (Continued)
Each and every time we have Bill a DR's appointment, whether internist, clinical trial, neuro, psyche, the question is always the same: Are you getting him out? Can you find something for him to do? How about a hobby? He needs to keep stimulating his mind. My answer is yes, this is why:
We encourage his getting out and mowing the not so big lawn Forget that he misses complete strips of sod so that you nearly have to go over the entire lawn again to get it cut. Or, that he can't get the bag off the mower so he rips it off, or that when he finally gets the bag off that he can not remember where to dump the grass, how to get it back on and how to restart the mower. Or put straight oil in to the gas tank which has been drained now twice.
He fretted daily over two dead pine trees in the back yard so, I had a neighbor fell them last fall. Been looking at those downed pines every since. Have been asking Bill to pull out the dead limbs that he could handle and we would haul them off. More asking him to do SOMETHING outdoors while I studied.
The straw that broke the camel's back Saturday was when he finally decided to humor me and begin taking the limbs and hiding them further back into the lot. Not to worry, I caught him red-handed. Of course then he blew up, faked a knee injury and became light-headed. Dalson, Kate, Michelle and I pulled limbs until dark, cut larger pieces with the chain saw, burned some of the smaller limbs and hauled off most of the debris while he laid down in his chair.
How about wash the cars? He can sometimes get both sides of the car washed before he rinses and sometimes the mats get thrown away.
Or, what about taking the trash out? It now gets stacked up on the back porch.
He refuses to try and read the newspaper or a magazine and a book is out of the question, however he will get the mail and plow through each piece of it and query me on the junk mail with his name on it to the point that I have to actually sit down and explain what it is they're asking him to do. To answer that it is simply junk mail will not longer suffice. Do I take that away? No, I just beat him to the mailbox and get the junk thrown away before he gets there.
I finally found a can of good silicone spray at Walmart yesterday and intend to put him to work cleaning off the yard tools. Because of the limited income situation, we are no longer in a situation to use it and throw it away which is what he had become accustomed. We will see how that goes and I doubt it goes well.
It is clear to me that there are some things he cannot do. Kate reminded me Saturday as we were sobbing on the back porch, "Mama, he has no reasoning skills left". She's right, but some things he simply will not do ~ which will probably end badly for him as this will most certainly escalate the time he has left in this home.
You see, Early Onset Alzheimer's Dementia is quite different than the late onset of a patient at 70 plus years old. In our situation, the caretakers are much younger, need to continue earning a living, are more mobile. People expect more, you expect more and the dynamics are beginning to hit us full on. This progression has become very costly. Losses are mounting and on a fixed income, there are no funds allocated to repairing everything he tears down. Then for weeks and sometimes months he queries me to exasperation on when I am going to have said items "fixed".
As I mentioned in previous posts, we are exhausted. I can tell you about it, can take pictures of it, can try and describe it but it is completely incomprehensible unless you live in the house with it.
I has become a full time job to find those things for him to do that the doctors agree he needs to stimulate him.
My prayers yesterday were to give me patience. That's all I've got left.
Posted by RB at 7:44 AM