Thursday, December 9, 2010

Another Pre VS Post Alzheimer's Wednesday

Wednesday(s) are my days. 

WB's daughter, Amy, comes each Wednesday to take him on a ride-about. Its one of her days off work and she normally has errands to run, appointments to make, things to do ~ so, she takes her daddy along for the ride. They will visit with old friends, often stopping to eat lunch with #1 son and then return sometime mid-late afternoon. 

Normally, I do not get out. The comforting quietness at home alone has become a luxury.

Then, because Michelle is off on Wednesday nights, I have the opportunity to get out with girlfriends for dinner. Even though we only take advantage of this about once a month, it is a hoot and a holler when it happens. It happened last night ~

One of our favorite haunts is the Margarita Grill in Pelham. Central to all of us, easy to get home from in a margarita induced trance, pretty decent food and GREAT service. Wherever I am these days, I make it a point to be able to get back to WB in 15 minutes or less. Who doesn't love a good margarita?

Since this is officially thoughtful Thursday, it is an excellent time for me review how friendships change while going through adversity and hardships. When work was plentiful and WB was healthy, our social calender was full. It was very common for us to have events and outings planned at least once or twice a week and nearly always had full weekends. At the beach or lake, at a restaurant or concert, a function here, a social commitment there. You only have to visit our closets to see the attire required as they are lined with cocktail dresses, suits in many seasons and shoes for days and days.

People say, "you really find out who your friends are when you......" ~ and that is so true. And, I have. Cathy, Randy, Cindy, Debbie, Price, Bobby, Leticia, Jim, Bill, Stuart, Laurie, Arthur, Peg, Teresa, Jesse and Amy have been constants and I could not imagine life without them. But Sheri, Timberly, Amanda, Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, Valerie, Amee, Tracey, Bill, Pete, Dianne, Lori, Keith, the tailgate gang, Erin.... Oh my, love is growing daily. I am a lucky, lucky girl to have such wonderful people to share my life with. It fills me up.

Do people intentionally let go of friendships when the rubber meets the road? I think so.

Honestly, I am guilty of letting go of people who I feel can no longer relate to what WB's illness does to your lifestyle. I guess I have really just given them a pass to bow out.  And, when I hear that 3 years post diagnosis one old friend asks another, "do you think he's really sick?" ~ my blood boils and they are fired on the spot. This firing of people is probably something I really need to work on.

Then, I rarely ever remember my dreams, but I woke this morning at 5:30 with a start. In living color and still fresh in my mind this minute, my dream was of running into an old friend I haven't spoken to in nearly 4 years. He was only cordial and brushed me off. My subconscious must be getting the better of me. It was the impetus for this post.

The gaggle of girls I spent time with last night all came together through internet social networking.  We certainly did not observe wordless Wednesday. Even though we knew of each other and had connections before, we really never took the time for each other. It was clear to me after following their posts and comments online, that I needed more of them. I feel that I sincerely knew them before we ever broke bread together. It has been amazing. 

So, what was I thinking? Have I been so preoccupied in the last 15 years that I never noticed how wonderful these ladies are? Absolutely. I am so hopeful they feel the same. What a unique bond we share, how wonderful it is to let the fur fly, how rewarding it is that I can offer the support of a genuine friendship to them. Pondering this morning what I should be doing to nurture my relationship with those lifelong friends I still hold dear.

Newsflash: there is a new section in the closet these days complete with yoga pants, flannel pajama bottoms, extra large T-shirts, Uggs and flip-flops. And for those who haven't tried it, that old mink stroller works well atop just about anything.

Thanks girls, for a wonderful night out ~

Just Brantley


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